*places a song on the school server*

Welcome to my secret lair on Skullcrusher Mountain
I hope that you’ve enjoyed your stay so far
I see you’ve met my assistant Scarface
His appearance is quite disturbing
But I assure you he’s harmless enough
He’s a sweetheart, calls me master
And he has a way of finding pretty things and bringing them to me

I give to you, Skullcrusher Mountain

http://www.jonathancoulton.com/songdetails/Skullcrusher%20Mountain