Nightmares and the state of me

Halloween was not good for me.

I’m not sure I’ve ever talked to any of you in detail about what happened to myself and Hope while we were
Guests of the Baron.

Hope’s story is her own, I won’t be telling that here today.

My story however...

I was tortured. Kept awake and forced to operate on young mutants. I still have nightmares and I still have to remind myself that what is around me is real. I thought that diving into my work and less time for emotions would be the best solution.

I don’t know that I was wrong entirely. I’ve been accepted for a Fellowship in Emergency medicine, it gives me purpose and a place to be every day where I get to help others.

I don’t know that I’m good for anything else.

I’m in therapy, have been for a very long time now on and off. It’s not that I’m not aware of the issues.

I’m just very tired. It’s hard to do the work every day. It’s hard to stop going cold.