I'm not who you think I am

[xp_wallflower]

I'm not the girl with the stick up her butt. I'm not the person who'd rather use her powers then really try at something. I'm not the suck up only interested in how many points she can score with the adults.

I'm not the person who always spoils the fun. I'm not the person who's always there to tell you 'I told you so' I'm not the person who thinks you're a monster because you lost your temper and punched someone in the face.

I'm just a girl. I'm just like you. I get scared, I make mistakes. I make a complete and utter disaster out of things that would be easy if I just admitted that I was struggling.

I laugh, I cry, I get hurt. I struggle with how to best use a power that in and of itself is an exercise in moral gymnastics. I fail at that, so many times. But I try.

I just want someone to understand. I want someone to see me. Not how angry they are at me. Not how stuck up I am, or how lazy, or how much I have to learn. I just want someone to tell me I'm okay, that who I am right now is okay.

I want to know I'm okay.

Edit: I believe that using someone's more vunerable moments to kick them when they're down, so to speak is a particularly interesting tactic. I'll have to make sure I remember that one. The adults around me give me so many great behavioural examples. I don't know what I'd do without your stalwart guidence. You'll excuse me now, I have to go visit Bergen-Belsen.

Comments

[x-wolverine.livejournal.com]

Nice words, kid, but talk's cheap.

Prove it.

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

The very fact that she's willing to talk about any of this is an incredible step for Laurie. Back off, Logan.

[x-empath.livejournal.com]

As Logan says, talk is cheap. Our last conversation proved as much. Perhaps when time goes on, things will change. Perhaps when you decide to respect another's wishes, then we may see eye to eye.

[x-volcanic.livejournal.com]

I honestly think it's very brave of you to make a post like this, and I applaud you for it. It's not easy to be so honest about yourself to a group of people.

[x-cannonball.livejournal.com]

“Before God we are equally wise and equally foolish.” - Albert Einstein.

I don't know if that idea could help you, Laurie. I find comfort in knowing that we're all different but equal. You can find me in my office during my hours if you want to read what some people have to say about this.

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Mr Guthrie. I think when I get back from Europe, I'll take you up on that.

[x-cynosure.livejournal.com]

Laurie,

Remember that this change is for yourself and enacted only by you. If it happens that those around you will give you the benefit of the doubt or a hand up, so much the better, but ultimately, it is a solitary journey. What others have to say about your progress, be it advice or hypocrisy, is only noise at the end of the day.