What is it going to be?

[xp_wallflower]

Seriously. Firstly I'm told that trying to compare myself to people who've been training longer then I have is an exercise in futility and will just make me feel inadequate. And then I'm told if I don't go into situations where I'm going to get my ass handed to me and thus somehow learn a valuable lesson in being inadequate, I'll never survive outside.

Which one is it people? Make up your damn minds already. Either you want me to use everything in my power to try to be as good as everyone else, and that includes using my powers in order to compensate for the fact that I'm not the best person in a physical fight. Or, you want me to learn at my own pace and in my own way, which means not putting myself in situations where I'm just going to be made to feel inadequate and stupid.

I'm allowed to learn differently to others. I'm allowed to fuck up in my own ways, and learn from that. Stop trying to make me like you. I'm not you. I won't ever be you. So stop telling me just how much being me the way I am is useless and stupid because I'm really not into being made to feel that way.

And yes, I'm very wordy. I like to talk things out, it's how I do things.

Comments

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

I'm not saying I'm smarter then people, and I'm well aware of how to fail. Doug's put me on my ass more then enough times. What I'm not interested in is giving people a stick with which to beat me. I don't trust them not to use the contest as some sort of 'you'll never be as good as us so just quit' bullshit bullying tactic. So no, I don't put myself in that situation and won't till I'm sure that's not what they're doing.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Dude, why do you think this is about bullying? Do I LOOK like the kinda guy to let myself get bullied?

I mean, ignore the shiner today, that's my own fault because I still farking miss feints but that's the whole point.

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

Cammie and Logan mostly right now. I just...I don't know. I have enough problems thinking I'm good enough without people telling me I need to suck it up or die. It feels like being bullied. I'm sorry, I know that sounds like I think my teammates are monsters, and that's not what I really think but I'm scared too. What if everyones just waiting for me to fail so they can kick me off?

[xp_daytripper]

Since when was Cammie on the team? And Logan's like that with everyone. If you can't trust your team to be there for you in training, how the fuck can you trust them to be there in the field?

Yeah, you really do need help. Doug trains with you too, doesn't he? Over at the dojo? Get him to bring you to the Danger Gym one evening and we'll give you a workout and some pointers. We might even feed you after ;)

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

I'll ask at our next training. That's tomorrow if that's not too soon.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Dude, do you seriously have something wrong with you where you hear one thing and it goes into your brain as "You suck you suck you suck, we're tricking you into failing so we can kick you off the team?"

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

Maybe? What if I'm never any good with the fighting stuff?

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Okay, I'm gonna go beat my head against my fridge for a while and then come back and explain, cause I'm not a shrink so I'm totally allowed to beat my head against things when friends say dumb stuff.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Okay now that I'm done with the metaphoricalish head pounding.

Okay, dude, there's competent which is what you need to be, and there's good, which is different. You need to be competant. You don't need to be like, total ass kicker class of 2009. I mean okay, who do you think you need to be as good as? Me? I'm REALLY GOOD at this. Garrison? He has a magic fighting chip in his butt and he's really good at this. Logan? Dude, just... no. Dude.

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

I guess Garrison and Logan? Sometimes it feels like it's the only way to get them to accept me.

[x-wildchild.livejournal.com]

Okay, so if you gotta be as good as them to pass, why am I on the team? They both still kick my ass pretty often.

[x-m.livejournal.com]

Seriously, dude, what he said.

I'm completely SHIT at fighting people if they're moving or not invulernable. Too much of a chance that I'm going to miss-judge that knife hand and kill them.

Once they stop moving, yeah, I'm useful. Or if you want to use me as bait. Possibly if you want me to go slamming through a crowd like a giant bowling ball. But one on one? I'm not good at that, because I still can't be sure that I won't accidently smash all their internal organs when I go for a punch.

We've all got different strengths and right now, I probably trust your hand to hand more than mine, because you won't go "whoops! I just smashed your skull because I finally managed to put my hip into that punch the way I'm meant to."

[x-wolverine.livejournal.com]

You need a sparring partner who can take those kinda shots, lemme know.

I heal and you can't break me.

[x-m.livejournal.com]

That'd be awesome. Thanks, mate. And hey, call me on it, if you catch me doing anything that could kill a normal person. I want to be learning technique that can do that lets me do that accidentally.

[x-wolverine.livejournal.com]

Wilco.

Set me a note when you want to give it a go.

[x-m.livejournal.com]

I will.

[x-cannonball.livejournal.com]

Pa had me wear steel toed boots. Then you don't have to be so good.